tellGem

‘tell Gem’ helps people who have been sexually assaulted, abused or raped. It is a web based app run by a doctor who specialises in sexual offences medicine.

tellGem

For Students

‘tell Gem’ aims to make it easier for children and young people to tell someone about harmful or unwanted sexual behaviour from other children and young people. It also let’s children tell us about adults who are sexually harassing or abusing them.

You can be anonymous but any information you do share will be passed onto your school or educational provider.

The information gathered means that schools know what is going on and can try and stop it happening; increasing safety and making your educational environment a better place to be.

‘Gem’ also gives information that is relevant to your experience. This could be medical advice or keeping safe advice.

PRIVACY NOTICE

Questions For Students

Can I be anonymous if I tell Gem?

Where does my story go after I’ve told Gem?

What happens to my personal information?

Body & brain

Sexual Assault Referral Centres and Forensic Medical Examinations

Collecting Evidence after Rape or Sexual Assault

What is…?

How to use ‘tell Gem’

Useful links

1. Can I be anonymous if I tell Gem?

Yes you can. If you don’t want to share your name or you’re not ready to yet then that’s ok.

Anything you share with ‘Gem’ will be anonymous unless you choose otherwise – that means we don’t know who you are unless you share your name. We don’t track phones or leave cookies.

If you don’t give your name then school will just get the information about what has happened, not that it happened to you. This can still help them understand more about what is happening at your school so it is really valuable information that will help them make changes to keep students safe.

We’d encourage you to share your name as the Designated Safeguarding Person (DSP) will receive an email saying you might need some help and support.

We know that you might be scared about other people knowing what’s happened but often telling someone is the hardest part. There are people to listen and to help. The more of us that share our stories, the more people listen and the better chance we have of changing the culture of sexual harassment and assault in your schools.

2. Where does my story go after I’ve told Gem?

The really short answer is no. We can’t make that promise. And we wouldn’t want to because that would be a lie.

If you don’t give your name in the ‘tell Gem’ app then we won’t know who you are. But, the information you have shared will be given to school.

The information you ‘tell Gem’ goes to a special teacher at school called the Designated Safeguarding Person (DSP). Their job is to keep young people at school safe and organise help and support if it’s needed.

The information you share is sent to school securely in an email. They receive an email every day that school is open – so not weekends or holidays. The email has a document attached with all the entries that have been made to the app that day. This is sent in a password protected document and your DSP (and two other senior teachers in case your DSP is away) will have the password. No one else will see that information without the password. If you share your name then this document will have your name in it.

The honest answer is – it depends. The DSP at school may not have to tell anyone else and will just touch base with you and see how you are.

If you share something that makes them think you’re unsafe, the school DSP will probably want to talk to you about it. Sometimes they might need to tell someone else. If it’s safe to do so, your DSP will always try and talk to you first before speaking with anyone else. This includes your parents. They will tell you why they want to speak with someone else, what might happen after and will listen to any worries you have.

Sometimes they might want to tell another school teacher in order to help you or keep you safe.

They might have to talk to someone on the Safeguarding Team at your local Children’s Services. Children and young people will not get into trouble with Children’s Services. They co-ordinate and organise the care, help and support for children, young people and families. There are a number of different people in the team at Children’s Services, but it includes social workers and family support workers. They are there for you.

The DSP might talk to someone else and share some information:

  • In order to keep you or other children safe.
  • If your life is in danger, or someone else’s life is in danger.
  • You’re being hurt by a person in a ‘position of trust’ such as a teacher, sports coach, religious leader, police officer or doctor.
  • If you’re being hurt by a member of your family.
  • You tell us about another child or young person who is being hurt but is not able to tell anyone themselves.
  • You want them to. If you want, they can talk to (or help you talk to) someone else like a family member or the police.
  • They have to by law. This means that there are certain things that a teacher has to tell someone else because they’re breaking the law if they don’t. Examples include if someone under the age of 13 is raped, if a person in a position of trust is hurting children in any way or if they think that someone might have been subject to something called FGM (Female Genital Mutilation).
  • If you want the DSP to arrange for someone you trust (e.g. a teacher), to accompany to you an appointment (e.g. with a specialist nurse or doctor), then they might have to tell that teacher about what had happened.
  • The DSP might need to talk to Children’s Services. These people are there to support families and help children to reach their potential. They also have a role in keeping you safe. When there is worry that a child or young person may be at risk of significant harm then a social worker will bring together a team of people who know that child or the person who might be harming them so they can come up with a plan to try and keep the child safe.

They will be as careful as they can and do things as quietly as possible. They might email you to arrange a meeting, catch you in a corridor and ask you to meet them or ask you to stay behind after a class.

3. What happens to my personal information?

The information you share on the ‘tell Gem’ app goes to a secure database.

The first thing to happen is that your report is given a number. A secure email is sent to school. An email is also sent to ‘tell Gem’ BUT anything written in the free text boxes such as your name, if you share it, will be removed. This allows us to check the email system is working and make changes to the app if necessary. These emails and the contents are deleted from the ‘tell Gem’ computers within 3 days.

However, after 3 days, your name and any other free text is wiped from the database. This includes the names of any other people you mentioned. The other information you select from fixed fields is kept on the database for up to 2 years without your name and any other free text. We keep your name and any other free text for 3 days just in case there are problems with the school receiving or opening their emails.

This means that after 3 days, you cannot be personally identified by ‘tell Gem’ from information on the database.

There are organisations trying to look into harmful sexual behaviours in our schools. If they can find out more about what is happening and why, then they can change how things are happening. The research they do helps schools make changes to keep you safer and but can also tell the government what they should be doing to make it better.

We may share completely anonymous information from our database with reputable (honest and trustworthy) research organisations that have been through the right channels to approve their research and can be trusted. This will never include your name or any other free text as this information is deleted 3 days after the report is made. They will only get the minimum information needed to answer the questions they are trying to answer. No single person will be able to be identified from the information which we share for the purposes of research.

We really hope that the information you provide will help change the culture of sexual harassment and assault in schools. We want school or college to be a happier and safer place.

We will work with specialist trusted experts who help us improve the ‘tell Gem’ app and the education programme and support services provided to schools. Occasionally, our software developers and other IT experts may need to access our database to ensure that the system is working, safe and secure. Otherwise, we will only share your information if we are required to do so in order to obey the law or an order made by a court.  

We will NEVER sell your information.

Any information you share after the first page of chat bot questions (about your age, ethnicity, gender etc) is automatically saved to our database. You will not be asked for your name until the very end of the app. However, even if you don’t finish the app, then the information you have entered will be included in the report that goes to your school. Even the smallest bit of information can be useful in helping schools protect the young people in their care.

You can talk to school about the report you have made. You may want to make changes to your first report. It is not unusual for our memories to change after a traumatic event and you may recall events differently in the days or weeks that follow. In addition, it is worth noting that from time to time, everyone says and does things that they wished they hadn’t or wants to change. This is OK.

School will not be able to remove your report from their system. But, they will be able to add in the additional information to it or make a note with the changes. They are not allowed to remove parts of children’s records but they can amend them.

There are laws relating to the way that organisations handle information about people. These laws give you special rights including seeking a copy of the information held, or to ask for it to be wiped or corrected. It is not always possible for an organisation to agree to these requests, which they can explain if needed.

If you wish to check your rights, or you are worried about the information you have shared or what tellGem will do with it, please contact your school’s DSP or the contact within their privacy notice. Otherwise, please contact us on [email protected]

We will listen to you, explain anything that is unclear and do anything we can to deal with your worries.

If you are still concerned, you are able to complain to the Information Commissioner’s Office (www.ico.org.uk). This is the organisation which make sure that we handle people’s information safely and fairly.

4. Body & Brain

If you are not on any contraception (or not using your contraception properly) and you don’t want to get pregnant, then emergency contraception can be taken after vaginal sex. This is the same for rape and consensual sex.

The time limit for these tablets is either 72 or 120 hours after the sex or rape. In some cases, an emergency coil can be fitted later, but this depends on when your period was and needs to be assessed by a doctor or a nurse.

A SARC (Sexual Assault Referral Centre) can help you with this. You can also get emergency contraception from a pharmacy, sexual health clinic, Emergency Department or your GP.

It is important that you do a pregnancy test a minimum of 3 weeks after sex without contraception. You shouldn’t rely on a period like bleed to say you’re not pregnant.

More information about regular contraception and emergency contraception can be found in our useful links section.

It is important to test for STIs such as chlamydia or gonorrhoea, as you may not know you have them. You would need to be treated for any STIs to prevent further harm and stop you spreading it to anyone else.

After a rape or sexual assault, follow up STI testing will likely include tests for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, HIV and Hepatitis. These tests could involve you providing some of the following samples: urine sample, a vaginal swab (you can do this yourself) and blood. If your mouth or bottom is at risk of an infection then you would be invited to give a swab from your throat or your bottom.

If you don’t have any symptoms, you have to wait until 2 weeks have passed (after any type of sex) before you can have tests. It can take that long for there to be enough bugs to make the test positive.

If you choose to have sex, you should use condoms until you have negative results.

SARC can refer you to a clinic or you can make an appointment at a Sexual Health Clinic yourself. Sometimes a postal testing kit can be sent out to you. Your GP may be able to help too.

Generally, the risk of HIV transmission from vaginal rape is low and most people who have been raped don’t need medication to reduce the risk of transmission but it is important that a doctor or nurse assesses your risk. There is a greater risk in anal rape. There are many factors that can affect your risk (e.g. condom use, injuries or the HIV status of the person who did this to you). Your doctor or nurse will be able to advise you

There is treatment deadline if you are at higher risk. If the doctor or nurse thinks you need treatment then the tablets need to start within 72 hours. This assessment is best done at SARC or a Sexual Health Clinic. Emergency Departments have the medicine too.

Hepatitis B is a virus that is spread through blood and sex. There are other types of Hepatitis, which are not spread by these routes. If left untreated, Hepatitis can cause liver damage (cirrhosis).

If you have been raped, you will be offered a Hepatitis B vaccination course to reduce risk of transmission. This involves 3 injections, often over the course of a month, with a booster given at a year. These are usually given into your upper arm.

People often use the phrase ‘sexual violence’ when talking about rape and sexual assault, but in many cases, there are no physical injuries. You can sustain genital injuries, but you may also get injured elsewhere on your body too.

There is no time limit to getting checked over, but if you’re worried, bleeding or in pain it is better to get yourself checked sooner. This is best done in a SARC but you could go to a Sexual Health Clinic, Emergency Department or your GP.

Just because someone doesn’t have any injuries doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You will still be believed.

People can really struggle with their feelings and emotions after a sexual assault and this completely OK. You might feel numb, sad, angry, scared or fuzzy. You might be worried that this is somehow your fault (for the record it isn’t). It can be a very confusing time.

There are many places you can turn to for support. You can contact SARC, your GP, ED, CAMHS (if you are a known patient), a counsellor if you already have one, a teacher you trust, family or friends. You could also call a helpline. There is a list of useful contacts under the ‘useful links’ button.

Sometimes people can have some dark thoughts and might want to harm themselves or think that they would rather not be alive. If you are feeling any of these then it is really important that you tell someone as soon as you can.

You matter and there is support to help you get through this.

5. Sexual Assault Referral Centres and Forensic Medical Examinations

A SARC offers services to people who have been raped or sexually assaulted.

At a SARC:

  • You decide what will happen.
  • You choose the help you want and don’t want
  • You say if you want an examination or not

They have specially trained doctors, nurses, crisis workers and other support staff who can help you. SARC services are free.

They can offer aftercare such as emergency contraception, assessment and treatment for infections such as HIV, Hepatitis B and STIs. They can support your mental health and refer you to other providers of mental health support if necessary.

At SARC you can have an examination to check if your body is OK and, if you want, samples can be taken looking for someone else’s DNA. Cotton buds are used to do this. It doesn’t hurt. They often ask for a wee sample too. This is called a Forensic Medical Examination.

Staff at a SARC will always try and talk to you first before telling anyone else. In fact, before you’ve even seen the doctor or nurse, the crisis worker will talk with you and ask permission for who we can talk to and why they might want to tell them.

Often, it’s really helpful for SARC to tell people so you don’t have to keep telling your story. We know that that can be really hard. It also means that SARC can organise all your ongoing care and support such as testing for sexually transmitted infections, mental health support and counselling. They can arrange an ISVA (Independent Sexual Violence Adviser) who can support you after your visit to SARC. If you want, they can talk to school, your parents and even the police on your behalf (sometimes anonymously).

They will want to talk to the local children’s safeguarding team at Children’s Services. They have a responsibility to make these referrals when they feel that a child or young person is at risk of harm or has suffered harm. If you have been raped or sexually assaulted then you have been harmed.

You don’t have to have one, but it can be useful for the following reasons:

  • To check your body if you’re in pain or sore, or to check for any injuries
  • Offer medical assessment and treatment
  • It can provide useful evidence for a police investigation

You can have one at any time, but the sooner it happens the more chance there is of collecting useful evidence.

If the assault took place more than 10 days ago it is still worth talking with SARC or the police. There will still be the opportunity to check your body if you’re sore or have any injuries and offer medical assessment and treatment if necessary. There might still be ways of collecting evidence if you want to.

They will try and arrange a time that suits you the best.

A Forensic Medical Examination (FME) takes place in a special centre which only cares for victims of rape and sexual assault.

The first person you will meet at the centre is the crisis worker. They are specially trained to support and care for you. They will chat to you about your details and the support SARC can offer you. They’ll ask you a bit about what you want and don’t want to happen and what your worries might be. They’ll be your ‘buddy’ during your visit.

You’ll meet the doctor or nurse next. They will tell you about what they can offer you and what it involves. The examination will go at your pace and only you will decide what happens.

The doctor or nurse will ask you relevant questions about your health and life in general, including home life, school and relationships. Everyone is asked the same questions. You might not want to tell them some things and that’s ok.

You might be asked to wear a gown. This allows different bits of your body to be examined whilst keeping the rest of you covered. If there are parts of the examination you don’t want, then you get to choose not to have these. Even if you initially say yes to a part of the examination, you can change your mind at any time.

They will offer you the choice to have your genital area checked. They can look for any injuries, address any worries you may have about the area and take samples from here.

Most people don’t have any injuries. Just because someone doesn’t have any injuries doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You will still be believed.

They can take samples from anywhere you have been kissed, touched or had anything inserted. They do this by using cotton wool buds, like ear buds. It does not hurt but can tickle. They use these to look for DNA of the person who did this to you. DNA is like a barcode – everyone’s is different.

They will probably want a wee sample and sometimes a blood sample, but you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. They might want to keep some clothing or underwear as evidence – even if it’s been washed since the assault.

This is up to you. It is often best to come with someone you trust and feel safe with. This could be a parent, a friend’s mum, a teacher or a support worker. The crisis worker will be with you the whole time unless you choose not to have them there.

You choose who to have with you for the examination. The doctor or nurse will be doing the examination. The crisis worker will also be in the room unless you choose not to have them there. They are great at supporting you and telling the doctor or nurse if you’re looking worried or want to stop. If you want someone else with you then that is fine too.

If you have told the police about what happened then they will probably take you to the SARC. They do not come into the room for the talk with the doctor or nurse or the examination room. They don’t even get to share your tea and biscuits!

Every visit is different.

It depends on what happened, who it happened to and what that person wants. The time it takes varies from person to person. They try to be as quick as they can but they also work at whatever pace suits you. It can take several hours to do everything. You can have breaks at any time. If you’ve not had a shower, washed your hair or brushed your teeth since it happened then you can have one at the SARC. They will provide you with a wash kit and some clean clothes if you need them.

6. Collecting Evidence after Rape or Sexual Assault

You can still refer yourself to a SARC even if you don’t want to tell the police or if you’re not ready to talk to them. SARC can still offer the same assessments and treatment without police involvement, including a forensic medical examination and the taking of evidence samples.

Some SARCs will accept self-referrals from children as young as 13 or 14. You can ring your local one and find out. You don’t need to give your name to find this out.

SARCs can store samples and evidence until you are 25. This might be helpful if you decide you want to go to the police at any point in the future. It gives you time to decide what you want to do.

If you are thinking about talking to the police, SARC can arrange for you to have a chat with a specially trained police officer or can talk to you about anonymous reporting.

If you report a rape or assault to the police then a police officer who has special training will talk with you and help you understand what your options are.

They will speak to SARC and organise your visit for you if that’s what you want. At SARC you’ll be able to have all the medical care you might need and a Forensic Medical Examination if you want.

The police will investigate and will pass their findings and the forensic medical report on to the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). The CPS will decide if a case should go to trial.

We suggest that you try not to shower or bathe after a sexual assault but we understand that you may want to. Washing can remove some types of evidence, including DNA from your body. However, even if you have showered, we can still obtain forensic evidence.

It is a good idea to get medical care and advice as soon as possible after a rape or sexual assault. Some medicines and treatments are time sensitive.

There is no time limit on having a forensic medical examination. You can have one at any time. If you want to collect forensic evidence (either to give to the police or to store in case you decide to go to the police in the future) then the sooner you have an examination, the greater the chance of collecting useful evidence. The time limits on collecting evidence depend on what has happened and where you are trying to get evidence from. For example, guidelines suggest a limit of 48 hours after a finger has been in the vagina or 7 – 10 days after a penis has been in a vagina. Sometimes, we can collect evidence later so you should check with a SARC or the police.

Samples such as clothing can be retrieved many days, even weeks after the assault. Evidence can be found on clothing even if it has been washed.

Do you have any photos, texts, social media posts on your phone or computer that could be evidence? Don’t delete anything! Keep messages, pictures you’ve been sent and posts on social media platforms. You can screenshot messages and posts so if it gets deleted later there will still be a record of what was said. These measures can provide evidence you may need in stopping this happening again. It is worth speaking to a trusted adult or the police about this.

Depending on the nature of your assault or harassment, it is best to talk with the Police, a trusted adult or a SARC about what evidence you might need to save.

7. What is…?

If you consent to something you agree to it by choice and you have the freedom (e.g. not pressured) and the capacity (e.g. not asleep or drunk) to make that choice. The same rules of consent apply to sex.

There are a number of factors that can affect a person’s capacity to consent. For example:

  • being under the influence of alcohol or drugs
  • being asleep or unconscious
  • some mental health conditions or learning disabilities

You might not have the freedom to make a choice if:

  • you’re worried about what might happen if you don’t have sex with someone, what they might say about you if you change your mind or what other people will think
  • you experience domestic abuse, manipulation or coercion (this can happen to children and young people in relationships as well as adults)
  • the other person is in a ‘position of trust’ and there is an in-balance of power e.g. family member, teacher, religious leader, doctor, employer
  • you are much younger than the person who is trying to engage in sexual activity with you
  • you are not old enough to consent

Consent comes with conditions.

You might give consent for one type of sexual activity but not another e.g. agree to sex as long as a condom is used*

You can change your mind and withdraw consent at any time, even if you initially agreed. Someone cannot continue to have sex with you without your consent, just because they’ve started.

Consent changes over time. Consenting to sex yesterday does not mean consent is automatically granted today.

*’stealthing’ is where someone removes a condom without you knowing

In the UK, the age of consent for sex is 16 years old. The law says that people can legally engage in sexual activity once they are 16. This applies to everyone. The law is there to protect young people from abuse, rather than to take legal action against under 16s who have both consented to sex, especially if they are of similar ages, maturity and stages of development.

The law says that children under the age of 13 cannot give consent to any form of sexual activity.

If you didn’t consent to someone’s penis going into your vagina, anus (bottom) or mouth and they did it anyway, then this is rape. It is a criminal offence.

It is not your fault. It was theirs.

In legal terms, the vagina is considered to include the labia majora (the larger, outer fleshy lips of the vulva). That means that if any part of the penis enters between the labia majora, without consent, then this can be considered rape.

If you didn’t consent to a part of someone’s body or an object (not the penis) going into your vagina or anus (bottom) then this was sexual assault by penetration. This is a criminal offence.

It is not your fault. It was theirs.

If you didn’t consent to sexual activity or someone intentionally touches you in a sexual way without your consent, then this is sexual assault. This is a criminal offence.

It is not your fault. It was theirs.

The touching can be with their body or something else. For example, without consent kissing, touching breasts or genitals, pressing up against someone for sexual pleasure, pressurising someone into doing a sexual act can all be considered sexual assault.

Sexual Harassment is unwanted behaviour of a sexual nature. It can make people feel distressed, intimidated, embarrassed or humiliated. It can make you feel uncomfortable and upset at school or elsewhere.

It is a form of unlawful discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. This means you have legal protection from sexual harassment in certain places such as school and college.

If it made you feel upset it doesn’t matter if the person intended to make you feel like this or not. Sometimes victims of sexual harassment are told that they ‘are too sensitive’ or ‘can’t take a joke.’

Examples of sexual harassment include

  • Making sexual comments, telling sexualised stories or jokes, calling someone sexualised names
  • Making comments about your sex life
  • Physical behaviour such as deliberately brushing against someone, cornering someone, interfering with someone’s clothes
  • Making sexual gestures with hands or body
  • Displaying pictures/photos of a sexual nature

Online or Digital Sexual Harassment involves the unwelcome sharing of any sexualised content online or unwanted behaviour of a sexual nature online, by phone or email.

Examples of online or digital sexual harassment include:

  • Being pestered for nudes; sharing of nude and semi-nude images (these may be of you)
  • Being sent unwanted sexual messages, photos or videos or being shown porn without your consent
  • Sharing of unwanted sexual content, sexual comments, messages or photos/images/video on phones, by email or on social media

Some forms of sexual harassment can be a crime. These include stalking, indecent exposure (flashing) and ‘upskirting’.

Sometimes, young people may share a nude or intimate image of themselves with another person. This is called sexting. Young people might be pressured into doing this or they might share it with consent. It is important to remember that once it is shared, you have no control over how other people might use it.

It is against the law to create or share nude or explicit images of a child e.g. a photo or video. This is the case even if a child or young person has done it. However, the police may decide not to take action against that young person.

If someone is pressurising you into sharing an intimate photo or you have already shared one, are worried about what might be done with it or someone is blackmailing you using it, then try and tell a trusted adult or the police.

This is a service provided by Childline that may be able to help remove intimate images shared on line.

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/remove-nude-image-shared-online/

Independent Sexual Violence Advisers (ISVAs) work with people who have been raped or have experienced sexual assault and abuse. They offer emotional and practical support that meets your individual needs.  They can help in many ways. For example, they can help you decide if you want to report an assault to the police or not and can offer guidance and support through a criminal investigation, physically accompanying you to court if the case progresses to that stage.

Rape culture is everywhere. It exists when society allows sexual harassment, assault and abuse to become normalised. We trivialise sexual violence with throw away comments and see it excused in the media or justified in song lyrics.

We see and hear examples of attitudes that fuel rape culture everywhere. Examples include:

  • Blaming the victim (“She was asking for it in that outfit” “He was so drunk what did he expect?”)
  • Trivialising the sexual assault (“boys will be boys”) or harassment (“it was only a joke”)
  • Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped
  • Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape

Naming ‘rape culture’ is the first step in dismantling it. All of us can have a role in taking it apart and can look to some simple ideas to help:

  • Stop victim blaming.
  • Don’t use language that degrades women
  • Don’t laugh at rape – challenge people making sexually offensive jokes or trivialising sexual assault.
  • Challenge what you hear in the media about women, men, relationships and sex
  • Always communicate with partners and do not assume consent for sexual activity. Instead of listening for a no look for an enthusiastic yes!
  • Challenge traditional ideals of masculinity and redefine what ‘being a man’ is
  • Listen to survivors

There isn’t one!

There are a number of different ways that our bodies can respond to fear or danger. These responses are instinctive, they have evolved to protect us from harm or help us survive danger. When someone is sexually assaulted or raped their body will use an automatic response to help them survive. They don’t get to choose which response to use, it just happens!

Fight – fighting physically and verbally e.g. saying ‘no’

Flight – trying to get away from the danger, hiding or backing away

Freeze – going tense and still. This is a common response to rape and sexual assault. It is a survival response; it is not consent.

Flop – a bit like freeze except muscles relax and the body goes floppy. This automatic reaction can reduce physical pain.

Friend – ‘making friends’ with the person who is causing harm by negotiating or pleading with them. This is not consent, it’s survival.

When someone is experiencing fear or danger, their brain focuses on what it needs to survive and doesn’t notice peripheral or ‘unimportant’ details. Their memories are not processed and stored properly.

As result, it is common for people who have been sexually assaulted or raped to be unable to completely recall what happened. They might only remember fragments and struggle to recall the order things happened in. Their memory of the assault might seem disorganised and missing details. Their account may change over time as it can take a few days and sleep for memories that were floating around the brain to be stored properly.

8. How to use ‘tell Gem’

You can only use the ‘tell Gem’ app if your school has chosen to use it.

It is a web-based app that is not downloaded to your device.

The app and any information you share will not be saved on your mobile phone.

If your school is using the app, they will display posters around the school. These posters will have a QR code on them. You can use your phone or device to scan the QR code which will open the app on your phone or device.

A chat bot will take you through the app step by step.

You can exit the app at any time.

Please…

Do tell us about any sexual harassment or sexual assault that happens to you, however minor you think it is.

Do use it as many times as you need to in order to disclose different episodes of sexual harassment or assault.

Do take care if you’re thinking of reporting on behalf of someone else. Try and talk to them first.

Do take a look at our privacy notice and information on this website so you understand what happens to your report.

Do use a private, trusted and password protected data network or your own mobile data to use the app.

Do be part of changing the culture in our schools.

Do use the website contact form to report any problems with the app or if parts of it aren’t working properly.

Please…

Don’t share the QR code with anyone outside your school.

Don’t share the name of the person who behaved or acted in a sexually harmful way.

Don’t share your name unless you are OK with school knowing you have made the report.

Don’t share another person’s name if you’re telling us about something that has happened to them – if you can, share yours instead so that school can contact you.